A Letter to my Husband...

My Dearest Husband,

Who's this new wife that you live with?  Well let me tell you...

This new wife cleans obsessively trying to control at least one piece of her life.
This new wife puts on a brave face but doesn't feel so brave.
This new wife stares off into a long lost place, not hearing what you are saying.
This new wife just wants to be alone sometimes.
This new wife says she's okay, but isn't.
This new wife is scared you will leave.
This new wife has no want to even try to cook (not that your old wife was any different).
This new wife is forgetful.
This new wife is trying her best to raise our daughter who is here.
This new wife is easily distracted about thoughts of our son who isn't here.
This new wife just doesn't want to talk sometimes.
This new wife doesn't have that sparkle in her eye anymore.
This new wife doesn't recognize herself in the mirror.
This new wife is exhausted physically and emotionally.
This new wife is missing a huge piece of her heart and trying to figure out how to function.
This new wife spends (too much) time on the internet because that's the only other place she can find other mother's on this same grief-stricken journey to connect with.
This new wife cries in the shower, driving home, and at night after you are already snoring.
This new wife doesn't understand why you don't mention his name.
This new wife feels alone even though you are next to me.
This new wife visits our son's grave more times than you realize.
This new wife finds comfort by looking at our son's pictures on a daily basis.
This new wife is lost...and needs help finding her way.

But most of all...This new wife still loves you.

-Your "New" Wife